Blog
First, there was a seemingly-magical new thing called X, a set of ideas that someone came up with, or put together, out of their own practical experience within an organization.
Soon afterwards, in your organization:
-
“X project” (let that weird guy pilot X without risking anyone else’s career over it).
-
“X initiative” (top-down, obviously, with proper steering boards and committees).
-
“X PMO” (let’s dabble in it, more seriously now).
-
“Global X Management” department (now we really take it seriously).
-
“Head of Global X” (establishing X is his job now, he says he did it at this other company, and if it doesn’t work out we don’t burn one of our own).
-
“X [function]” (we’ll show every person how X relates to their daily work).
-
“Global X Manager” positions (headcount equals prestige).
-
“X Internship” (fresh minds from the university will reinvigorate this thing!)
-
“X Experience Exchange” (other companies that do X / are X will shows us how TF they succeed with it—after all, someone must be getting something out of X!).
-
“X Pilot Projects” (for the colleagues we convinced it might be beneficial to their career to be an early adopter of X in a high-vis project).
-
“X Coach” positions (duh, our people need to be coached, no wonder it didn’t work so far!)
-
“X case study” (we will show the rest of the world how great we are through an MBA case on how X is our future!)
-
“X toolbox” (a cute set of friendly guides and templates to help everyone get started with X, yay! kawaiiii)
-
“X Summit” (we need to show the rest of the company that X still is a thing here).
-
“X Innovation” (two birds with one stone, X is what was missing all along, obviously!)
-
“X Process” (if we package X to legitimize it, they will have to use it!)
-
“X metrics, KPIs, reporting and controlling” (how will you manage it if you don’t measure it? Duh, stupid!)
-
“X Transformation” (with the help of MBB consultants, we will get X to stick this time around).
-
“Guest lecture by a globally renowned X figurehead” (hey, don’t listen to us, listen to that famous guy, he was there when X was created!).
-
“X Targets” (apparently everyone needs to have an X-related performance target to hit, otherwise they don’t get the full bonus—sticks and carrots, amirite?)
-
“Global X Academy and certifications” (organizational development consultants told us we need to certify our people in X because they don’t get it without training, sigh…)
-
“X 2.0” (all that stuff was 1.0, now we’re getting serious about X).
-
“Chief X Officer” (seriously, if this doesn’t do it, then I guess it’s good we can blame this person).
-
“X is folded into the PMO of the business units” (damage control, let’s move on, possibly to some other org who wants to do X… we did write a business case after all, lol)
Then, there was Y. Soon afterwards, in your organization…
For me, X was Lean and apparently now, years after I left my role, Y is Agile. What is Z? Who knows—I’ve put this nonsense behind me, career-wise. But it’s still fun to make fun of, and interesting from a sociological and anthropological perspective.
